Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Week 4 eureka moment
This week was my little sister's prom and she is graduating soon. She is 18 years old and wanted to go stay over someone's beach house for a few days after the prom. Many kids do this after prom to celebrate and have a few days to party. My parents told her she could not go. This was weird to me because my brother and I were both allowed to go. As her big sister I was trying to help her persuade my Mom into letting her go. I asked my Mom why she had said no and she said it was because my sister was a girl and was immature for her age. I asked her what she meant by that and she said that she had let my brother go because he was a boy and knew that if he got into trouble he could handle himself. I was allowed to go because I was much more assertive than my sister is now. I thought this was interesting because I am also much more assertive that my brother, and to be honest do not know if he would have handled himself all that well, but because he was a boy my Mom assumed he would be fine. I think my Mom's view of men being capable and women being weaker is common in parents. I think they feel less of a need to protect males because they are supposed be able to protect themselves. Also, if you have a female daughter with those somewhat "masculine" qualities, as my Mom claims I do, then you feel less of a need to protect them too. I felt bad for my sister because my Mom was not letting her go simply because she is not assertive enough. Eventually I convinced my Mom that was not fair because she will never learn to be on her own if you don't let her experience it and my sister is currently at the beach! :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well your sister is lucky to have you! I find this interesting i was just posting my gender moment and i was talking about how my father was concerned about me driving to TN with my gf for a music festival yet he let my brother go when my brother was 5 years younger than i am now. There really are double standards in this world and it hard to believe our parents are a part of this problem. I think what you said was correct that your sister can never learn for herself i totally agree. I have an 18 year old sister and i have had many conversations just like that with my parents in regards to her. There is a perception that men are stronger and less vulnerable despite their size and age. I do not agree with this i workout and i am strong and i know a few boys i can take down ha! I am the youngest of my brothers and sister i know have two step sisters but i have been in that situation before where my brother and sisters were allowed to do things and when i was there age i wasn't. I argued the same thing to my father that each child is different and therefore should all be treated differently i eventually got my way. But i appreciate my parents now for letting me learn my own lessons and not stopping me from doing things just because my brother and sister might have made dumb mistakes.
ReplyDeleteFunny, why mom's and Dad's still use the sexual orientation as the basis of the reasonging. Too bad she couldn't just say no or yes based on personality, maturity etc. But, in our society with date rapes and other scary crimes out there, one's sexual orientation especially for our daughters (speaking with my mom hat and not my professor hat), this has to be considered...
ReplyDeleteLauren, my mom used to be the same way. She lets my brothers do things and I can’t because he’s a male and I’m a female. For example, he could stay out late at night and I couldn’t. Or, he could go to a female’s house and I couldn’t go to a male’s house. So unfair! I use to hate this double standard in my house. It’s true. Parents think that a male should be able to handle themselves more than a female. The situation you described is definitely not fair to your sister. If all her siblings were able to go then she should be able to also. Parents do have a hard job. They worry so much about us. I don’t blame your mom for worrying about your sister. She just needs to trust her daughter to do the right thing. I’m happy your mom made the right decision and I hope your sister had fun at the shore.
ReplyDelete