Wednesday, May 26, 2010
week 2 eureka moment
My boyfriend and I have been living together for a little over a year. We are both busy because I have a job and still am in school and he works almost 80 hours a week. I have more time to do things around the house, so therefore i do most of the chores. I do not mind because I know he is not around, however recently he has been home more often. The other night he was home and I had worked all day. The second I sat down he asked me why I hadn't made iced tea the night before so he would have it for today and why the laundry was dirty. I told him he had plenty of time to do the laundry, so it should be done. He then told me it was my responsibility because he makes more money. I was shocked and angry! We had a long talk and I hope I made him realize that the household chores will now be shared equally. I could not believe that a 24 year old man in this century still held those beliefs. He told me his mom had told him that a woman should stay at home and clean. Of course then I wanted to have a talk with his mom! It is so much more common for a man to stay at home now than it was twenty years ago. I think it is interesting that some men still hold those old-fashion beliefs.
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Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI completely understand why you got mad at your boyfriend. Please assume that just because you’re woman and make less money, that you are somehow obligated to take care of the household responsibilities. This is completely and utterly unfair! The other day my younger brother (17) told me that my future husband is going to be mad at me because I can’t cook. Why does he assume that I should be the one cooking? Husbands can’t do the cooking? I do not like this double standard either. I feel the same way as you. I do not mind doing my equal share, but I will not do everything. I personally hate it when men have those old-fashioned beliefs because I do not consider myself to be traditional. It was really helpful that you had that talk with your boyfriend so he could understand. I wouldn’t say it’s completely his fault since this is something he was taught at an early age. Thanks for bringing this up. I need to have a similar talk with my boyfriend now!
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteThe belief has to do on how you were raised by your parents. I was raised by my mother; because my father worked long hours and his job require him to take many business trips. I also, had three older sisters along with my mother taught me how to do household chores. I learn how to cook, clean, and laundry. I am secure with my manhood of taking of care of most of the housework in my home. My wife works long hours and sometimes her job requires her to take business trips. The housework duties are shared by my wife and me. I think the culture is accepting the changing roles of men and women in a family. The image of men helping in raising children was shown in the movie “Daddy Daycare” and the movie had the perception of men handle nontraditional roles in the household.
Do you think sometimes that guys hide behind this gender stereotype as a means of getting out of helping with stuff around the house? I sometimes think my husband uses this stereotype or our habit of me doing the bulk of the cleaning as means of getting out of doing work!
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